We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
