so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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