so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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