That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize