I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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