Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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