watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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