the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
