The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
