physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
