once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
