Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
