Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
