Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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