you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
