Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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