If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
