batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
