Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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