I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
