I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
