YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
