She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
