a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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