Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
