So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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