Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
