Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
