I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i barfeds in our rink
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
