Me too!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
