Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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