I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
