he wants to bone in the snuggie
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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