ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
