I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
