I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
