my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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