i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
