At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there was a trapeze. enough said
handjob tips. give me some.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
