When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
