My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
