Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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