life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
