if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
