we have officially lost it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
