I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
