I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize