K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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