We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
