That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
