i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
